walked past her house every other day going to jason’s or ben’s house snow white husky behind a chainlink fence i would crane my neck hoping to see her her hair glowed in sunlight and in shade green eyes cut into me i never talked to her but had conversations with her in my head we had everything in common…

darkness that is almost deafening. one red hot dot. a car passes by and I see the curve of her body. I can see her birthmark, and that scar when we got drunk and smashed bottles behind the drug store. she takes a long drag and tells me that she can’t do it anymore. it’s not high school- we aren’t…

Cereal happy box on shelf contents may not have settled prize is on the top   Pizza hot and gooey cheese stuck to the top of the box no tip for you, pal.   Burrito warm soft tortilla filled with meat and spicy love, belly hurts so much.   Carrots crunchy orange goodness in ranch they are amazing and now…

dirty frozen pavementpristine lines of whitefootprints melt intoconcrete path passing strangerscold windpink nosesand visible breath narrow walkheads buriedin rhythmof clumsy steps fleece and woolenelbowsbrushing oncefor just an instant a gentle toucha quiet nuzzleof elbowa moment of spark no glance backto watch her gojust softwarm weeks passthe walkwas lonelycold and wet watched feetold canvassnowflakeson pale denim nervous chestfeels heavy as sheglides…

reflection of solid red glow in the cracked scratched glass sitting up in sweaty sheets and dry throats quenched by stale mineral water linen sheets breathing over naked legs and soft corners and lines of pink skin chest heaving still trapped in the moment locked in that embrace that has no words it has no moment no defined time or…

quiet lovedraped in deep sighsand cigarette smokeeyeglasses andcold coffee long days in bednewspaper on the floorashtray fullbaggy shortson the floor calm brainno need for thoughtjust breathingand lovingholding onto the sheets talking in pausesbetween long dragsand sipswhite cottonworn like a uniform the memories flowand fill the roombillowing and stingingthen fading intonothing

the red flowsout of slits incarefully manuveredmovementand slices the releaserushes up fromtoes and fingersfeeling the lossinstantly against the grainsolid linesinside frail skinleaning againstcold white wet and afraidbut feeling thecalm and endseeing lessand taking nothing

awkward feetstinging in wornshoesdrenched with mud shame and sweatstabs in chesthurtfrom the cold air tired handsshaking in the darktremblingsearching found hersilent, coldblue and alone her chestis stillher breastsdo not heave he would gazefrom afaras she curvedand softened he felt hermarble cold facetouched the skinhe longed for took her innocenceshe never lostwhen red love coursedin her thighs

in the dead blue nightthe solid hard still coldthe steps are smalldarting and weavingfor sure footingto find the journey end feet entwinedstumbledreaching forfamiliar and exquisitei find her her tear soakedchinher warm chestfumbled handsknow the skinthat has never touched his it is calmserenepureand still he criesnot hearing her voicebut feeling her words in the still warm comfort.

Banana boxesfilled with booksand journalssit outside the door Garbage bagsstretched thinwith clothesand twisted hangers Dusty framesoff of the wallin a twisted towerthey lay Ready for the jumpdivots in the carpetholes in the wallsempty closets It will all make sensesooneven if it’s confusingand new They cry for their lifethey smile for the newthey hold handsand journey ahead.

Banana boxesfilled with booksand journalssit outside the door Garbage bagsstretched thinwith clothesand twisted hangers Dusty framesoff of the wallin a twisted towerthey lay Ready for the jumpdivots in the carpetholes in the wallsempty closets It will all make sensesooneven if it’s confusingand new They cry for their lifethey smile for the newthey hold handsand journey ahead.

radiant witunbridled lustamazing humorglowing beauty.her. she cries every dayshe can’t sleepher anger and painis heard throughthe distances. he listensand cries for herhis heart sinksand meltsin the same breath. they closetheir eyes and listenhopewish. she keeps himsteadyevery dayradiantand beautiful. soon the daysand nights willbe completeas it shouldalways have been. the tears endand the smilesare biggerand the heartsknowwhat they needed.j-

jake sat with his friendsin the same uniformwith the same lunchlaughed at the samejokestv showskidsmaddy stood outside with her friendsdifferent clothespuffed a clove cigarettedidn’t laugh at the samejokestv showskidsjake walked home with his buddiesmaddy kicked rocks alonejake came home to lovemaddy’s mom is never homejake went out to a moviemaddy sulked in her roomjake walked to schoolwith maddythey held handsand…

sat alone on the first daywas the only oneeveryone watchedfingers tingledhead heavy and pounding sat alone on the first daywasnt the only onewatched everyonehands sweatyhead heavy in thought sat alone for many dayswith new friendsthat did not knowor understandor care sat alone for many dayswith old friendsthat knewand understoodand cared sat alone for many yearswith no onewith pen and papereyeglassespouring…

i read the listall of it makes senseand in an instanti dont rememberthe words my heavy heartcringesmy eyes blur insolitudeit is all true failure is normaljust another symptomof my gifted mindwired wrong fromday one i read the list againhoping it has changedconvincing myselfthis is not whyim a genius and a mess author artist poetfriend lover confidantson brother nephewall fall shortsomewhere…

so much was in himfor many yearshe was strongand faithfulto them all over time he fadedhis joints creakedand achedbut he was brought backby the ones he loved in thunderous roarand cold snowy evethrough hurtand sadnesshe was there the old mancomforted themsheltered theirtired bodiesagainst the world even when theywere apartthere he waswaiting patientlyfor all of them to return away they gosoon…

fist pounds against metalshe staggers into itit opens and she is thereshaky feet as she yellsthe half empty bottlespilling outonto the front step she confesses her sinsand stands therewaitinghoping for embraceand releaseof a forgettablenight of sweat that aromaseeping from herthroat as she slursand kisses andcussesand touchesher invitation isall too hard to ignore her body is warmand her heart is coldyet…

he sat in the darkwiping back the tearsspinning the gold onhis dry fingerwondering why it hadto be this way she had alwaysbeen theresince they were childrenholding handslaughing at the worldpraying for the best their skin thinnedin their agechildren grew oldbut they had theirsouls to appeasethe fading memories young and pigtailedslender and sprythey took on the worldwith youth and lovekind and…

early morningmy legs numband steelyfrom the abnormalvigilimmense and placidmy gaze is the sameopen or closedmy blind eyesdarting for a glimpsea huea shadea colorfolded armsworn gray warmthpulled over my bonehard fingersshufflingfeeling for anythingbut the darknessmy world isin front of meif i only knewwhich way to standturnand walk coldly jj-

the wind invites my stridepushing my heelsagainst the worldarms spreadfingers hardand clenchedgazing throughthe dark greenmy heart liftsdigging heelslighter beneath mepiercing pale bluedeafening screechrushing past my earsopening my fingerstouching the open worldin the cloudsthe haze belowthe blackness abovefeet free from the worldmind untethered from the earth